First Week Back at Work

I returned to work on Monday with lots of emails to catch up on. It's hard to sit and read them for hours finding out what's changed, if they apply to me, or if they did 6 weeks ago. That was Monday; thankfully it was a quick day. After work, I went to urgent care for follow up on no sleep. Yup, I'm still not sleeping, the day time restlessness has calmed down a little and the night time restlessness is almost completely gone thanks to the medication. I'm still staying away from leaded coffee's right now and no soda. I'm afraid of caffeine for the first time in my life. The doctor I saw was awesome; she was so thorough and understanding. We made a plan of action and I'm trying it this week before I see another doctor on Monday. So hopefully this will be the end of it and I'll be back to sleeping through the night soon.

Monday night mom had a pampered chef party, so of coarse I went to that. It was nice being around woman. I didn't know many since they were from mom's work, but it was a nice time. I didn't stay late, I had a bored husband at home and I wanted to be home with him relaxing.

Yesterday was harder then Monday. I'm learning the less sleep I get and the more I'm doing during the day, the more tired I am by the end of work. It's a great thing I'm only working 7:30-12:30. I know that doesn't sound like much, but it's exhausting. I got off work yesterday and went home and curled up on the couch. I'm afraid of sleeping during the day because I don't know if I'll sleep at night. Paco and I watched TV and played Farmville (the really addicting game on fb). Jon got home around 4:30 and we were both so exhausted and hungry we ordered pizza. I hate it when you're so tired that opening a can of chili seems like more than you can do. :) lol

Today I woke up and and got ready for work. My hair is curly, my make up is on, and I look pretty darn cute... if I do say so myself. But that's just the outside appearances. If you look deep enough you'll see an emotional, tired, and sad girl. Emotional from lack of sleep, tired because of no sleep, and sad because I didn't think this recovery would take such a toll on me physically and emotionally. I have an amazing husband who has been so supportive. He's always trying to find ways to keep me happy or cheer me up... that doesn't typically take work, that's just who I am. I know I'm not my bubbly, happy, fun self... I'm praying a lot and searching for answers that I can't seem to find. I'm trying to be patient, but patience is something that I lose with lack of sleep. I feel like I'm in this whirlwind and can't see anything clearly, so I just go through the motions of normal.

Mom is pretty good at listening and helping me through the whirlwind. We compare notes on this most recent surgery and last years. It's hard for both of us to remember all the details of where I was in my recovery, but last year I didn't have a deadline to return to work. I was fortunate to be unemployed with no pressure to find a job until I was ready and able. I hope that by returning to work and being on a schedule now, I will be pulled out of this rut and sleep will be my friend again.